Being comfortable with discomfort

I know,who likes the sound of that? Does it make your skin crawl or does it intrigue you? Either which way it’s all around us.

I was having dinner yesterday with a dear friend of mine who allowed me to ramble on and on, and yet, on again about this topic. Just take a moment and ask yourself, “how many times a day do I allow myself to stay present in the moment and allow what is?” I am partially ashamed and could potentially blame it on my ADD but I take full responsibility for holding up the traffic when the light turned green because I was playing Sudoku on my Blackberry. Yes, I know, how rude! Well, I knew  that light  takes too long for me I and I got caught up. I guess I didn’t want to feel bored. The say, two minute long stoplight, conjured up in me that feeling of being so close to my destination that I had to just hurry up and wait!-Geez, how cruel!(chuckle)

 Although this is in jest, this point actually hits a lot deeper. In your day to day interactions how often are you going on autopilot? To illustrate, you hand the cashier your money, you are already thinking about picking up the kids, “oh I can’t find my keys, oh, I have that meeting tomorrow, and lunch with ..oh, shoot, did I forget to get the sweet potatoes for the soufflé I promised I’d make, uggh, I don’t know?”

“Ma’am, uh, excuse me, you’re change,” says the cashier interrupting the chatter in your mind. “Oh, thanks.” You feel slightly embarrassed and rush off leaving the sweet potatoes that you won’t remember you forgot… again… until you go to bed.-Whew! I know, all that mindless chatter just keeps going and going, but what that little crazy pink bunny on TV doesn’t tell you is that this frantic mind chatter is hazardous to your health to keep going and going and going! You can’t ever be present because you are in a constant state of doing. And why? To perhaps not feel, not know, not see.

That’s why we turn the radio up, take on more responsibilities at work, and never say “no” because we don’t like being uncomfortable. Yep! It definitely goes back to childhood and the inner child that resides within each of us. As soon as we fall, we are asked to get up, and quickly I might add, because we don’t want to be in the way, or dare I say feel embarrassed. Then, as we get older we wonder why the grieving process is so difficult to understand. It’s like you have to completely unlearn to learn new patterns of thinking. Of course, this task may sound insurmountable but it’s a process. I believe it’s awareness. I will not promise that I won’t ever look at my phone again when I’m bored, but I will be more aware. I will notice and observe and practice mindfulness.

I don’t like feeling sad or angry. I don’t like feeling hurt, but guess what? The more we avoid the more we annoy. In other words, the inner child gets annoyed when she is ignored. The inner child was taught to not be comfortable, and we have to re-parent the little one to know that it is okay to feel sad, hurt, scared, or even angry. After all, these are primary emotions that we are all born with. When ignored the inner child feels uncomfortable and fears safety and security. So, the next time you are feeling something that you don’t like, try to tell yourself “It’s okay. You know, that does suck!” Or “hey, it’s alright this feeling will not last forever, AND it’s perfectly okay to feel it.”

Practice being uncomfortable with discomfort, it may not be so bad…

In Love